


Vespers

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [6]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 23:41:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5804893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one is stupid enough to comment on the fact that he leaves the General’s quarters in the dead of night. <i>No. One.</i></p><p>But when things might change... Kylo's faced with a terrifying choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vespers

It’s an unspoken thing between them. Their night-time trysts are often fierce and filled with passion, passion that then leaves one (or both) of them more than pleasantly exhausted. 

Kylo never leaves right off. He always stays to make sure Hux comes back down from their - their - _lovemaking_ \- and stays in closer than he’s entirely comfortable doing. Hands that tangle, or slide over limbs, or hips. A nose at a temple, breathing in the slowing pulse. 

When Kylo thinks that Hux is deep enough under into sleep, he will slip out from the bed and back into his clothes with all the quiet the Force allows. If he’s _asleep_ enough, Kylo will tuck the sheets around him, make sure he’s comfortable, and brush through his hair one final time. (He knows Hux isn’t always, actually, asleep. Sometimes he’s just pretending, or resting with his eyes shut and his breathing level. But that’s part of the rules of what they do, so it’s okay.)

No one is stupid enough to comment on the fact that he leaves the General’s quarters in the dead of night. _No. One._

Tonight, though, he gets as far as one foot out of the bed and on the floor when a hand sneaks out and circles his wrist. Hux’s eyes are shut for the moment, and Kylo stops breathing. The hand doesn’t move, and he knows he’s being offered a choice: _go, or stay._ Without eye-contact they can continue to pretend the movement was an instinctual one, and there was no thought behind it. Continue their pattern, and never deviate from it.

He’s frozen in place, unsure what he wants. If he goes, it will hurt the other man. He’s offered something as surely as Kylo did, the first time they touched without clothes as a barrier. That half-spoken, half-veiled way they both favour, a life lived in the shadows between the light and the dark. The Master of Ren feels his own heart skittering, and he chides himself for the weakness. For _all_ of this weakness. For wanting to make sure this arrangement is **mutual** , instead of just _taking_. For taking the time to learn what the General does and doesn’t like. For backing out each time under cover of darkness, to keep their other-selves from hurting too much. For… _caring._

Surely he should just go, anyway? He’s given him his pleasure, taken his own, and stayed long enough to make sure Hux doesn’t feel like some cheap - _unpaid_ \- whore. But he sees the tiny little line of worry that the other man can’t hide, the slightest frown of concern that says he’s also terrified of what he’s asking for. If he rejects him now, he knows he will never ask again.

Two paths stand before you. A fork in the road, a splintering of the way, a choice, a decision, a life. 

Kylo doesn’t want to go, but he’s afraid of staying. He won’t be able to lie to himself as easily if he does stay, won’t be able to section ‘this’ off into the box he’s conveniently kept it in. He’ll have to admit to himself what… what it is. What it means. How it means he _cares_ , and how it means he’s _vulnerable_ , and how it means he wants more than they’ve been toying with. Fear is strong, but it can make you weak, too. ~~Love is the same, if not worse.~~

He pulls his foot back into the bed, and moves closer towards him. Just for tonight, he says to himself, as he plasters his long frame over Hux’s side. As he slinks an arm back around his waist, and runs his lips along the edge of his hairline to breathe him in and agree to stay. Just for tonight. He can care if he wants to. It might not be what Snoke wants of him, but the Sith are supposed to take what they desire. And if he happens to desire Hux, even after they’ve both spent themselves for the day, then… well.

He’s going to have him. 

The man in his arms relaxes, the line going from between his brows. He burrows silently closer, and Kylo’s heart hurts. Just a simple weakness, a small offering of _true-self_ , not _work-self_ or _safe-self_. Just a tiny gesture, but he knows the smallest things can make anyone fall. 

It’s going to be interesting in the morning. They’ve never had to deal with the aftermath head on. Kylo finds the concept… strangely exciting, as well as utterly terrifying. 

It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be _okay_.

If neither of them combust in the light of day… it might be way more than okay.


End file.
